Thursday, October 15, 2009

My Mozart Moment

Since the recent proclamation - namely that I was going to put White Rose aside for a while and concentrate on other writing projects - I have done nothing but White Rose. Funny how that works, isn't it?

It has seemed like every time I've wanted to pick up The Generation and finally get Joanie and Sid to understand that their vastly differing opinions on the peace process in Israel mask common goals and aims... Or when I've decided I must finish the rewrite of Hansi and Frog, at least to the point where the very-Bavarian "Hansi" and the very-Texan "Frog" find their footing as they stumble into friendship... Or as I've re-thought and re-puzzled the Butterfly Lace events in Brussels that first summer so long ago...

...Every time, I've had to put the newly-revived manuscript aside and go back to one thing or the other associated with the White Rose. Not exactly how I planned to spend my summer!

But yesterday it hit me that all this work is incredibly intertwined, connected, the fruit of the same tree. These works of fiction are informed by the same worldview that drives the White Rose work. Simply stated, it's a desire to contribute somehow with might of pen over might of sword to tikkun olam, repairing the world. [Although I will admit that the fiction is easier to enjoy while writing, because even when strongly based on real life, e.g. Hansi and Frog, I don't have to stick to absolute fact, as is the case with White Rose work.]

I realized this yesterday as several things came into focus all at once. These concepts and notions had been simmering on a back burner at least for several months, if not several years. But a late-night conversation provided a Eureka moment for me. Let me see if I can explain.

Hansi and Frog is an important story for me to tell, because it chronicles the evolution of a friendship that nourished me for a lifetime, a friendship that nearly was stillborn because of difference in religion. That friendship still provides sustenance, although the basis for the fictional Hansi character died in 2003.

The Generation speaks to me because - sitting here in the U.S., far away from debates over settlements and Hamas rockets launched into homes and playgrounds - it forces me to think about people who live in Israel and work for peace on a daily basis. Different people, different approaches to diplomacy and the efforts required to end the violence. Once again, common goals.

Butterfly Lace takes me back to that very first trip to Germany via Brussels, when I was exposed to markedly different ways of doing things than I had known before. Not only were my experiences mindboggling (for me!), but then for 25 of us to sit in a hotel room singing "Take me ho-ome, Pom Air, to the place I belong" [TM Not-John-Denver], talking about our collective mindboggling experiences...

And how we all had come to the shocking realization that despite the illusion-shattering differences, our humanity bound us 25 as well as the people we had come to know over that summer together. Despite the illusion-shattering differences, or perhaps because of them?

Elements of these fictional narratives exist within the structure of the nonfictional White Rose account. Wildly divergent viewpoints merged within that group of friends around a common theme, specifically that of bringing an end to a criminal regime that was systematically destroying their country. Religion could have divided them, kept them from working together towards this common cause, could have irreparably splintered them before they penned the first leaflet. Differences in perception, in education, in experience, in expectations could have prevented the friends from unifying in an almost-quixotic battle against a mass murderer.

Driving home at 2:30 in the morning after this refreshingly honest conversation, I understood (maybe for the first time ever) that not only have my life experiences figured into the reasons I write about the White Rose, but the White Rose work has also affected how I approach and deal with past events. And why.

This personal-private-business-historical-philosophical discussion opened a thousand locked windows into the Whys of my life and work. Why the theme of difference <=> common cause <=> unity recurs, regardless of how expressed. Why "cultural diplomacy" and political activism are not mutually exclusive in my worldview. Why I shun orthodoxies in favor of faith that seeks to "do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God." Why I always have time for people who are not afraid of truth, and have little patience with those who put on airs. Why late-night conversations like this one will stick with me for the next twenty years, while I will forget Letterman's Top Ten from one day to the next.

Still sifting, still thinking. The Nigerian proverb says you hold a true friend with both your hands. I guess that means that the words of a true friend are held in the heart, not the hands.

The funny thing about this? Driving home last night, all at once - my own private "Mozart moment"! - Joanie and Sid found their work with Jewish National Fund and Rabbis for Human Rights on a collision course and were forced to come to terms with ethics versus politics. Hansi and Frog wandered back to Bad Heilbrunn the long way, with Frog finally comprehending that Hansi's silences were rarely anger. And the fictional "me" in Brussels heard Greece and Spain and Italy and Germany erupt into a raucous dance in that half-star Belgian hotel. Accompanied by John Denver, of course.

Now if only I could write all three books at once, as well as keep up with White Rose work!

Reference to Mozart Moment: In educational psychology, we learned that Mozart famously said that when he began composing a new symphony, he "heard" the entire piece in a split second and then had to set about the work of putting that split second down on paper. That is how I felt last night, driving the Hollywood Freeway at 2:30 a.m. It was such a glorious moment, I even missed my exit... The price of genius. Ha! - RHS.

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